.:Televisual Catharsis:.

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- That’s what my thesis is about now! Televisual catharsis.
Where I will explore and investigate contemporary televised catharsis and how it functions to provide empathetic experiences that are not commonly considered or contemplated. The research supports the relevance of tragedy [in select series] and the different ways in which it is defined; how it serves as the lens of human experience–and how it creates an exploration of second-hand empathy. The six thesis illustrations accompanying this will focus solely on the dark aesthetic featured in two shows in particular; Breaking Bad & The Wire. My contention, however, is to also explore what catharsis means–on behalf of my fascination in the emotional release that is experienced after feeling and expressing one’s emotions about a traumatic event.

- Plus… the beautiful flower cactus living in my studio.

- ALSO re-designed my Tumblr.

.:Upcoming Plans:.

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- So, this whole time I’ve been re-designing my website in it’s entirety. The way it looks RIGHT NOW–is awful. Looks nothing like my style. It’s just UGLY. Anyway, I was working with Wix and planned on transferring my domain name. However…
Last night I randomly started looking at other female artists’ websites. I realized that–if I’m going to be a PROFESSIONAL artist / illustrator / designer, I can’t afford to compromise on first impressions–the site I have now / have been working on–it is not the BEST I can do. I need to apply myself entirely. So I’m starting from scratch and making this site look more like what Nubbly Twiglet made for some of her clients.

- I’m also going to be at ECCC at the end of March. Can’t wait for that!
– Here’s some stuff I’ve made lately:

- In progress for a client:

- In progress piece for thesis:

- Still life drawing:

- Observational drawing:

- Annnnddd I love this song.

.:Escape!:.

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- I’ve been re-designing my entire website… I couldn’t deal with the bleaky templates anymore. I needed something more ‘Zamudio’-ish. It’s not my ultimate dream-site yet, but…

- I also made my business cards so that you can shrinky-dink them! I want to shrink my cards in case I get mouse clients…
Speaking of clients–I had a lovely meeting with one of them this afternoon at Blue Moon. Other than that, I’ve been swamped with homework / thesis work.

.:Seattle Erotic Art:.

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- Submitted five works to the Seattle Erotic Art Festival. I don’t know if I’m in yet–but I’ll tell ya! It’s in the end of June. I’m moving up there after May [when I graduate] and think it’d be neat to have something open up gallery-wise for me right away. Might have a second show in Seattle, as well.
– It’s somewhat strange because I never intend to do gallery shows. I never intend to have a lot of them, either–but so far I’ve had them all over the place since this year started.
– From now til the end of April, I’m busy-busy-busy with thesis work. I’ll let you in on some of the process soon, promise. <3

.:London?:.

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- There are a lot of new things going on that I should let all a’yall in on.
– Yesterday morning, I received an email where I was approached about the possibility of doing a SOLO show in London! I am so excited about this opportunity. Not official yet, but it would be at The Bricklane Gallery: [Click pic to link to their site]

 – I’ve also been working on a school assignment… I don’t know I feel about it–it was an interesting experiment to say the least. It’s about The mother fuckin’ Hunt.

[Also submitting work for Seattle's Erotic Art festival]

.:San Francisco:.

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- My apologies for it taking me a while to update!
– I didn’t take any photos of the opening night at D-Structure [on lower Haight street]–mainly because I was too busy talking people into buying my work, meeting new artists and drinking.

- Six of my pieces will be here on display all month long! I’m anxious to know if I’ve sold anything since last week’s opening.

- Right now I am working on thumbnails / prompts for my thesis. Meeting with my professor Martin French on Friday.
–  Working for three different clients right now. The money from that, the work in SF, and my last refund check should put me in a good place as far as being financially prepared for my move to downtown Seattle in June.
– School starts again next week. Last semester of college, and in May I finally obtain my Bachelor’s degree. :)

.:2012:.

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- Had an amazing NYE in downtown Seattle–sang many songs, danced [even in my chair], played games and drank hella. I haven’t had such an enjoyable NYE party in a long time. The night before, Qais and I headed over to The Mercury to meet some friends. Two nights in a row drinking.

- Tomorrow morning, I fly off to San Francisco for my art show. This week is turning out to be an adventure. Although, I’m worried about getting the artwork/frames there safely.
– Will update again when I get to California and start painting the gallery mural!

.:New Year’s Goals:.

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[D-Structure: The gallery I'll be showing my work at in San Francisco.]

- Resolutions, goals–what have you. Every year I make a new list, and surprisingly enough I accomplish most of what’s on it!

1. Get an internship.
2. Graduate!
3. Complete an amazing thesis.
4. Obtain a job in Seattle when I move [May 2012]
5. Have two/three more gallery shows [solo show?]
6. Build a cliental [start my career]
7. At least a few photoshoots.
8. Save hella money and easily pay back loans.
9. Buy a puppy when I move?
10. Get published in three magazines.

-I’m excited for the future.

.:SANTA:.

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- I’ve been officially on winter break since last Thursday. I’m pretty relieved to say the least. Passed my thesis proposal, printed & obtained the frames for the show in SF, and went to Santarchy here in Seattle!

- Qais and I before we took off last night. So much fun! We found Waldo in the mix of Santas–and messed with his head a little–dressed up, got drunk, and smoked on the most amazing balcony. I wish I had taken a camera… got a new one for Christmas, but I’m not allowed to have it until then.
– Started playing Skyrim early this morning… I’m thinking I want to get going on the two commissions I have lined up so I can spend some moola on new hair stuff or a gym membership. I’ve been hibernating HARD.

.:Well Said:.


Everything in life is replaceable, money, cars, friends, lovers, your mountain of crack. You can get new friends, a new relationship, more money, more crack… The only thing that is not able to be replaced is yourself. Don’t accept shit from anyone. Someone do something you don’t like? Cut that fuck out of your life without remorse or a second thought. I don’t care who you are in my life, I know my own value, and I know I can go out any night of the week and meet new people. So don’t think just because you are part of my life means that you will be a year from now. Call me a douche, heartless, whatever you want, I really don’t care what anyone thinks or has to say about me. I do not fear change, I embrace it wholeheartedly! With change comes progress, growth, and unimaginable opportunity! So if you get in the way of that, you won’t be there for long. 
– James Walker

.:Beauty List: Make-up Edition:.

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My list of number one products out there concerning make-up and looking hott. Let’s go.

1. MAC Skin-finish Natural [light]
- This stuff is the best. If you use a good primer, it’ll look as if you don’t have any foundation/powder on at all. This is the ONLY MAC foundation I’ll use. Everything else at MAC is WAY too cakey and noticeable. Gross.
Plus, it lasts you quite a while, definitely over six months. $29

2. MAC “Cranberry” Eyeshadow:
- This’ll make your green / blue eyes sexy as all hell. Everyone I know / meet loves it. Ladies at the Bank while making a deposit, people on the street, guys in class, etc. People will be talking to you at the bus stop, not leaving you alone. $15

3. Benefit San Francisco’s POREfessional
- Put this shit on after you moisturize and before you apply foundation. You REALLY want to look naturally beautiful? Naturally sexy? This covers up ALL of your pores. It smoothes out your skin and feels like sculpey. Bizarre texture, but it feels so good after you apply it. The whole world will try to bone you and your skin will even smell good. Please take my word for it. $29

4. Maybelline Eye-Brow-Liner
- There’s no need to spend so much money on this utensil. It looks natural and is more affordable than other brow liners. These babies give shape to your eyebrows, thus making them look more defined and sultry. $13

- These are the only make-up products I strongly advise you to at least try.

.:Dead Soldiers:.

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- Here is my latest piece!

- My buddy Ellie and I went out last night to First Thursday. Cold as balls, but we made the best of it. Visited the Breeze Block gallery, said hi to a bunch of people. One of Jeff’s pieces was in the 5 year anniversary show, but he himself wasn’t around. Had a lot of fun! We went over to Alex’s shop afterwards, smoked by the fire place and tried to operate a toy helicopter that had a camera built inside. Alex is trying to practice flying it by Saturday, when Occupy is getting together for another protest. He wants to fly the helicopter over the police to spy, hahaha. It’s called SpyRyder.

- My thesis proposal, by the way–went really well. Not as many people showed up as I thought there’d be, but it was okay because a new client attended–pulled me aside afterward and asked if I wanted to make his album cover art for $200. I said hell yes.
– I realize that I HAVE been working hard. I never really think that I do.

- Two more weeks of this semester left! I’m so happy. I’m having Martin hook me up with an internship at a design firm for this next semester. My last four months of school EVER. I don’t know what to think. Soon enough I’ll have my Bachelor’s degree.
Frank remembers that it’s hot buttered rum season. I first told him about it a year ago, when I was deeply infatuated with him. He thought it was the weirdest thing, hot buttered rum.

- Lastly, here is the circus poster I made for my last client. I kind of hate it! It’ll be posted all over Portland soon.

.:Workspace:.

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This is the room I’m in, eighteen hours of the day. Sometimes more. Not always working, of course. As sad as that sounds, I love it. When I graduate in May and move to Seattle I’m setting up an even cozier room for work / drawing / sleep / cuddles.

- My little table of goodies! And my small pile of jewelry in a bowl on the bottom right…
– And here is my Familiar! She is the most loving cat you’ll ever know. <3

- My boyfriend having a Skype-date with me earlier today:

.:Beauty List:.

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I’ve been wanting to do this for a while. List and briefly talk about the beauty products I use and recommend. I have friends who often ask what’s what, and from now on I can point them in this direction.
Note: My skin requires more abrasive products, because my skin is oily and used to break out pretty badly. If you have really sensitive, normal/dry skin–some of these recommendations are not for you.  

FACE:

1. Dr.Bronner’s, preferably the peppermint flavor. It lasts a long time, and really cleans the skin unlike anything else. You already know. $8 – $16

2. Tea Tree Toner, from LUSH. Tea tree oil is the best for skin like mine, it makes my skin glow and look ‘radiant’. $8

3. Josie Maran’s Argan oil. If you have big pores/oily skin–THIS IS FUCKING FOR YOU. Oil + oil cancels itself out, trust me. If you use it too much, it kind of makes your skin dry. This controls oil like nothing else out there. $45

4. Boscia’s Black Mask. It’s just as shiny as it’s package. Anyone that works at Sephora will recommend this to you. $36

5. Benefit San Francisco’s Dr.Feel-good. This covers pores so that you can’t see them. AT ALL. It’s fucking amazing. Smells good and makes me feel beautiful. $29
Stay tuned for next week when I post about hair recommendations, and make-up! :p

.:Eh:.

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-Don’t know what to think about this piece.
– Just as it’s obnoxious that people go shop on Black Friday, the comments against it are just as annoying. You’re against black friday? Okay, you’re cool. My Mum likes to shop on Black Friday and that doesn’t mean she’s punching people in the tit. People DO die on Black Friday, but not everyone who goes is a dick.

.:Thesis Proposal:.

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- My proposed thesis will be illustrating a six piece visual essay based on three subcategories [overreaching category], chosen by me, that explore how or why we are moved by fiction in contemporary television. Through my unique, emotive, and intuitive style–I intend to take the influence of some of today’s most popular shows to convey three philosophical responses. My personal objective is to not only explore these philosophies visually, but to suggest how being exposed to quality modern television can expand our empathy. They give meaning and context to what would otherwise be a collection of easily forgettable facts. The power of narrative/fiction is not simply it’s ability to engage people, but it’s effectiveness in reshaping deeply entrenched views.

The three subcategories:

First Solution: Belief; our emotional responses are typically founded on belief. The “cognitive theory of emotion” espoused by most cognitive theorists [---- -----] takes beliefs and judgments to be central to the emotions. Certain emotions may be based on beliefs about what is objective and subjective, which directly relates to how effective a piece of fiction is. This can observed, for example, in an anxious reaction to a piece of “scary” fiction.

 

Second Solution: Perspective; involves seeing things from another’s point of view. Empathy is what allows us to stretch our sensibility with one another so that we can cohere in larger social units. “To empathize is to civilize, to civilize is to empathize”. The question that originally sparked this project was; how or why are we moved by televisual fiction? Because I wanted to imagine the possibility that, we as human beings could actually extend our empathy to the entire human race, as an extended family. Maybe even in some televisual fiction–to our fellow creatures–as part of our “evolutionary” family.

 

Third Solution: The solipsist view; in the mind of the observer, characters and “real people” are equally fictional. Solipsism is the extreme form of skepticism, which denies the possibility of any knowledge other than one’s own existence. The self is the only thing that can be known; the view that the self is the only reality. This category is intentionally placed last, as it stands more as an exception to the rule.

 

My visual essay will be illustrated first traditionally through an interplay of highly detailed marks, dark —, and bold —. Later to be painted digitally and printed at a scale of 28″ x 39″. THE SCOPE:

It is important to understand that while I am incorporating the influence of well-known t.v. shows–I am not illustrating “fan art”, as I intend to only capture the essence, narrative, and content of said shows [The Wire]. I am visually articulating specific themes through three different points of view.

 

PROCESS:

- I build my concepts from prompts, and most of my pieces start out with a particular feeling / emotion. My love for the strange and unusual has been a constant throughout childhood, and these lifelong fascinations lent themselves to my bizarre art later in life. Working intuitively, I incorporate a range of mediums that include soap, interference paint, canvas, paper, graphite–but ultimately ink and digital painting. I’m inspired by the dark, things I see that ignite dreamy feelings of nostalgia, and haunting moments you can never forget. A lot of times I am inspired by mystery and things that scare me. I’m inspired by the innovative and primitive nature of those who undergo great tragedy.

 

INFLUENCES:

- Unique comic books, counterculture, and the macabre all served as a backdrop for my earlier visual inspiration.

Jhonen Vasquez’s work is where everything started for me. I was ten years old reading his comics, and shortly thereafter becoming obsessed with his work. This is a pivotal time in my life–it’s when and where I decided to pursue a career in illustration. This is really where I started to build on my own sense of aesthetics–started wearing black. When I was twelve, I started contacting those who worked on the show [IZ], and began looking into submitting work to SLG.

 

THE WIRE

I’ve chosen the The Wire, an HBO series that ran from 2002-2008 as a primary influence because I believe that it has something to teach about poverty, class, bureaucracy, and the social ramifications of economic change. Although The Wire is fiction, not a documentary, its depiction of [the] systemic urban inequality that constrains the lives of the urban poor is more compelling [than] that of any published study.

The unique power of the show comes from the way it takes fiction’s ability to create fully realized inner lives for its characters and combines that with qualities rare in a piece of entertainment: an acuity about the structural conditions that constrain human choices (whether it’s bureaucratic inertia, institutional racism, or economic decay) and an unparalleled scrupulousness about accurately portraying them. Issues like poverty and urban deindustrialization are remote from their daily lives, and simply reading about them does little to bridge that gap. The Wire puts faces and stories to those forces.
As David Simon, the co-creator for the show said,
“You want to talk about it being fiction, but it shows incredible imagination and understanding about the way the world works, and for me that’s enough.”

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